Good mothers are quite remarkable people, if you think about it. They start falling in love with their babes at birth. Then they continue on falling more and more in love as their children grow. There is no end to it, and, even when you've done something quite unlovable, they give you time to think about it, or grit their teeth and somehow manage to go on loving you.
Of course, unfortunately there are mothers who, for one reason or the other, never "get" what mothering means. The worst thing is, if you happen to be one of those, you can't put a child back from whence it came. No purchase refunds on this! That has really sad implications for society as a whole, because every child actually deserves a good mother, and every child tends to realise that fact, sooner or later.
It must be an unspeakable empty space in the heart for those who cope daily with the sadness of an uncaring mother. That empty hole tends to go on and on right through a life.
Sometimes I wonder what happens. There's the joy and excitement everyone seems to feel when a baby is born. The cooing, the awwwwing, the admiration is everywhere. Where does it go so horribly wrong, that children then end up in very sad circumstances? It just doesn't seem right. I suppose there are many reasons.
Online writers read a lot of online articles, because writers tend to do that. They express themselves, sometimes uncomfortably so. You get to meet them, to know them and understand who they are. You start to know them as family, because they're always talking, arguing, discussing, laughing, grieving, recovering from illness, and just sharing different aspects of their lives. If they move, you pack with them, follow them, decide if you like their new place.
I didn't understand all this; in fact if I did I would have run the other way instead of getting my computer fingers ready for writing when I first went online as a writer. The idea of becoming close friends with people I'd never met, probably never would meet, would have seemed quite unlikely. Yet when I think about it, it's actually not such a far fetched idea. When I was in elementary school, and that was long ago, I had pen friends. There was the regular snail mail postal service of course, but that's all we had, and it was exciting to receive letters in the mailbox.
So, I started writing my little articles. Writers tend to comment on what they read. My comments were becoming more and more, and I was enjoying reading my peer's work too, commenting on theirs, responding to theirs on mine.
Deploying the troops
Next thing, she'd commanded all her troops to visit my page and comment on my work! As one of them, Billybuc said, "Maria wanted us to contact you, and what Maria wants, she gets!" And suddenly there was a string of comments, and a host of wonderful new friends.
Over a period of years now, Maria has become a dear friend. One thing she's made me realise with an inner smile; loving mothering is a state of mind, an instinct to care deeply about others, and an ability to make every child of hers feel they are without doubt the most important person in the huge online family she has created! She does it so well, this crafty, musical, fun loving, wise-beyond-her-years mother of all she meets.
Mother Maria's carefully selected children come from all walks of life, and are scattered all over the world. If you are lucky enough to be one of the chosen ones, you will have a glimpse of who you want to be when you grow up. That's one of the lovely gifts that Maria bestows. She remembers all your events of importance. She's a constant sweet giver of little presents and snail mail cards for any occasion, even when she just dreams one up for you!
So, Momma Maria, here are some flowers from my garden for you! They're for Mother's Day!
Behave Yourself, or . . .
Momma Maria is a favorite of all she meets. She's momma to all her considerable, spread out family too. But not content with that, she's now mother to her new beautiful, black Labrador child, known to all as Mr. Andy Jordan. We, all the other children, have watched with interest and amusement as he's gone through everything we had to in life; the socialising, the manners,the toilet training, the music appreciation. But Mr Andy, being the runaway favorite child with her, gets away with chewing up screen doors, furniture and all kinds of mischief she wouldn't have tolerated from any of us when we came into her life.
Mothers sometimes go through their own very bad experiences in life. When they have the inner beauty and resilience of Momma Maria, they roll with the punches, accept things for what they are, and always strive for greater understanding of themselves and others. That's our Maria.
And that's why now she's training in Gestalt therapy. She just didn't have enough scope with all her activities, like teaching nurses (of course they always become her children too, and always adore her), being an editor, writing books, having time for friends and family, gardening, and mothering all her world-wide fans. A gal's gotta expand her horizons!
This is a Mother's Day love letter to my dear Momma Maria. It doesn't matter that I'm older than her. Both age and mothering are just a state of mind.
To all my other mother friends on line, this is for you too, and I'm remembering my dear birth mother, who I always wish could be here now.
Keeping you up with the latest
- MARCOUJOR: THE HEALING NATURE OF TIME via marcoujor's musings
- Farmacopeia: Pond Water Tea via flashPress
Wishing you a safe and beautiful weekend!