A quote from my father.
Have you ever really trusted someone, and then that person destroys your trust, apparently in one easy step? It's devastating, especially when you didn't see it coming. But in a while the hurt goes, leaving you with new awareness, which isn't always a bad thing. You resolve to choose your friends more carefully in the future. You go on with your life.
You might find it more challenging to engage in close friendships, but, you reason, not all people will behave like the friend you just lost. Your sense that the future must hold something you can trust in remains intact. It seems to come about from your feelings of trust as a child.
I'm realising I don't have too much of it any more. In fact, mistrust seems to be taking over my attitude towards a lot of things in life. I think I'm inwardly cynical, much more so than I've ever been. I've gone from having street smarts to developing a real annoyance with the streets.
Its a sad thing that parents can't trust their children will arrive at point B if they let them walk or cycle from A on their own. We used to wander all over the area around us. Parents were never to be seen. They knew mealtime would bring us into the house, no problem. Now parents take children everywhere, by car, to take part in organised activities. That way they can keep them safe.
Safe from what?
And the word is, not traffic. Not climbing, or its opposite, falling.
It's a mind-picture of a pervert.
Pedophiles seem to have taken over the world. Taken from police mug shots they lurk, ever watchful for the opportunity to steal your precious child.
But how true is this picture? Can you really trust it?
But those pedophiles are firmly in the brain; it must be one of the biggest issues of all time. Let's face it, the differences are, we used to know all our neighbors, and steered clear of the strange ones. And we certainly didn't blather about them on the airwaves, feeding into their deeds. So, knowing your neighbors, not necessarily as friends, warts and all, can be powerful protection.
All too long ago, photos were defining proof of all kinds of events. You relied on them for truth. There was even an ancient saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words."
Well, the pictures are still worth a thousand words - of admiration, not verification.
They're amazingly wonderful, but inside, you can't help thinking, Photo-shopped!
Worst of all, you're probably correct.
I often wonder what children think as they view talking and laughing animals telling stories, and try to figure out why Rover is a lesser dog because he can only bark? It's worth remembering that small children still believe pictures represent reality. But it seems many parents believe childhood is annoying, and a waste of time. I'm truly glad I grew up when and where I did.
Life is confusing in other ways too. You can't live too long without food and water. It seems tragic that the kind of nourishment people go for now is mostly "convenience" food. You have no idea what kind of processes that attractively packaged food has been through prior to you eating it. But I guess people must trust in it, until thousands of those food items are recalled by manufacturers.
Come to think of it, I've never deviated from my early childhood food that I loved. This is an amazing thought, if you carry it further. I've never eaten margarine, make my own bread, prefer plain but delicious food, cook from scratch, even make my own juice and jam. Trust in my own abilities to produce my own food has been unshaken through the years.
What does this mean, if children are raised on convenience food that has all kinds of chemicals in it, but no love or long cooking with wonderful kitchen smells? Is that going to be their comfort food in the future? And then, what about their children?
By the way, I want to go on record here that just a few days ago it was announced that all our food guides for the last 40 years have been dreadfully wrong. High cholesterol foods can now be embraced into your diet without any problem, because they have nothing to do with the way your body develops high cholesterol. I knew there had to be a reason I never deviated from my original moderate diet!
Also, they're saying sugar and too much salt is really bad for your health and waistline. This is news!
The new recommendation is to cook your foods from scratch, and leave out the convenience foods!
You find these scientific food and drink studies, these "now it's good - now it's bad" results throughout life. You really don't know what to trust, or sometimes how to make sense of it. But for many of you, those who were able to grow up with trust that there must be something reliable in the future, it seems like a good plan to give that same sense of trust to your children.
Protect them from the "nasties." It used to be that older, responsible adults would not curse in front of children. That's mild, compared to what most children experience from their adults now, and you have to ask, is it fair? It gives children trust that they are protected when they aren't allowed to engage in age inappropriate behavior, even if "everybody else does it."
Teach them to love their surroundings. No matter how they live, children can always enjoy and investigate their home environment, and find something beautiful in it, with your help. Think about Anne Frank.
My big thing has always been flowers and the awesomeness of nature. It's incurable. It was given to me as a child.
Preserve their childhood. It's a gift that never goes away. Spending focused, quality time with your child returns to you and your future relationship in spades. Life events will happen, but the future is built on unconditional love, and the ability to trust.
Before you go ...
- A Spring to My Step via marcoujor's musings
- OJ: Where's the Juice on Integrity? via From Loss to Living
- Safe Harbor, A Workbook For Dealing With Loss by Victoria Warner via flashPress
Thank you for your visit and wishing you a safe and beautiful weekend...